I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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