So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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