My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
