if i can run in heels then i can drive
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
