hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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