Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
