We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
