i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
