I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you didnt know i had herpes?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
