his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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