i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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