You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
