I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
