remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
