i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
