Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
