but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
