I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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