just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
