ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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