I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
