so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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