just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
