Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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