The maid of honor just puked.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I would fuck him just for his dog
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
