I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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