I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
