so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
