I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
