wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
