Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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