she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
