I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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