i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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