I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
