It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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