I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
