your thong is hanging out like whoa
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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