she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I want her autograph on my taint
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
