..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
