I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
pop tarts are not kleenex
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
