mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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