He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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