I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
