I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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