no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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