I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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