yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
