Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
