I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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