We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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